Listening

Listening is something everyone does on a daily basis; it is something that is naturally and we have been doing since we were babies. If you take a step back and think about listening, you will probably realize it is something you are not great at. We also suffer from engaging in pseudolistening, selective listening and monopolizing the conversation. Everyone’s favorite topic is themselves and it is so much easier to just talk about yourself rather that actually listening to someone else and talking about them. Though once you realize that your listening skills could use some help, there are ways to improve. One thing you can do is judge the content of what someone is saying, not how someone says something. This way you are actually understanding what they are saying and judging their thoughts. Another thing you can do is not interrupt. Sometimes when you are having an intense conversation you cannot help but interrupt, but that is not good. You are interrupting someone’s thoughts and not allowing them to make their whole point. Another really important thing to do is listen out for the main idea the other person is trying to present and not the details. That way you are understanding what they are saying as a whole and not nitpicking the details.

Nonlistening

I think everyone has probably engaged in one or all of the types of nonlistening at some point in their lives. I feel like when people get on comfortable or bored or distracted they become less attentive and tend to engage in nonlistening. I know that when I have a lot on my mind or I am really busy I tend to engage in pseudolistening or selective listening. Because I have so much going on in my head I kind of tune people out or only listen to parts of what they are saying. When this happens I normally realize I am doing it at some point and I normally just focus extra hard or excuse myself from the situation. When I do try and focus on the conversation, I push everything else from my mind and focus on what is happening in front of me. I also tend to engage in monopolizing when I get uncomfortable. Everyone’s favorite subject is themselves and that is who I talk about when I get uncomfortable. When these situations occur, I worry about the conversation dyeing down or stopping, so I kind of just talk.  To overcome this, I will try and focus more on the other person and what is being said instead of focusing on what could happen.

The United States as a High Schol

The melting pot is what the Unites States has traditionally been referred to as; a blending of many cultures into one unified culture. Some now believe that this is not the most accurate term for our country and that our country should have a metaphor that more accurately shows off all the different cultures in our country. I do not know if I agree with this. Our country’s culture is comprised of many different cultures and that is what makes our country’s culture. That is exactly what a melting pot is, a blend of a lot of different things. Though many different cultures do thrive in the United States and do contribute to our culture, there is still a culture all of its own. I would almost use a high school to describe our country. There are a lot of different cliques and groups that make up one school. There are some that are more involved or have more school spirit than others, but in the end they all belong to one group and go to that school.

Symbols...

Symbols are abstract words that represent something else. Everything is a symbol. My name is a symbol for me. Kappa Delta is a symbol for my sorority and everything my sorority stand for. Basically everything is a symbol. The words are considered arbitrary and ambiguous, but the meaning is what is great and matters. Symbols are arbitrary because they have no true connections to what they stand for. Why is a closet called a closet or a wallet called a wallet? There is no true reason but that is what those objects are called. The name may not have a lot of meaning but we all know what they mean. If you were to ask someone where the bus is, they would understand. Though the general meaning is known, the specific meaning is not, that is why symbols are ambiguous. The meaning of a best friend to me is different than a best friend to someone else. Symbols are all around us and have a lot of meaning.

Identity Scripts

I found identity scripts very interesting in this week’s reading. They are basically the rules and guidelines that define who we are and how we act as a person and the roles we maintain. The book states that most of these roles are defined by the age of five, but can be reviewed and changed as an adult. Often, children are given certain expectations by their parents, which develop into the child’s identity script. This means that to a certain extent, parents really form identity scripts. Identity scripts determine how we view everything and ourselves. Having the belief that you are expected to go to college would be an identity script. Not everyone has that expectation and is something that is normally determined by your parents. For example, my parents have always expected me to college and normally just explained that was how things worked. I have known I was going to go to college since I was little and when I was little I would get confused if someone hadn’t gone to college. That is an identity script for me.

Race

Race is a term used to describe someone based on their ethnicity and appearance. It is a huge factoring in deciding ones identity. Race is used to classify people, though it is not always helpful. Since the United States is considered a melting pot of many different cultures and heritages, it is extremely common for someone to come from multiple backgrounds. When this occurs, how do you classify this person? Say an Irish woman and Chinese man were to have a child, is this child considered white or Chinese? This is where the debate starts. I believe the US Census Bureau should allow people to check more than one race for themselves. Race is something unique to every individual and I think people should be allowed to show this. In the US we encourage acceptance and diversity, therefore we should allow people to own their diversity. Allowing people to do this would make people feel more confident in who they are and really allow them to accept themselves.

Communication Relationships

Interpersonal communication has different levels; I-It, I-You and I-Thou. Relationships tend to start as I-It or I-You relationships and some evolve to I-Thou, though some never pass that stage. I-It relationships tend to between people who we see occasionally and do not really connect emotion or worth to. These are the lowest form of relationships in a sense. I-You is basically the next step in relationships and the most common type of relationship. These are the relationships we have with classmates or teammates, people we see often at the grocery store or workplace friends. You treat these people civilly and acknowledge them as individual people. Then there are I-Thou relationships. These are the most intimate type of relationship. This would be your best friend, significant other or a close family member. These are the people you are truly yourself around and can share things with.

            In my life, the people I see in class but do not talk to or even acknowledge. An I-You relationship would be someone I see and talk to in class but not outside. An I-Thou relationship I have would be my roommate or mom who I share everything with.

A look into one of my relationships...

A little over a year ago, I moved from a smaller town in Northern California to San Jose for school. I was a little freshman who knew absolutely no one, was on her own for the first time and had no idea how she was going to find a place to fit in this huge school of 30,000 students. Luckily, I had a cousin who lived in the area who invited me to dinner as soon as I moved in and I obviously went because I knew NOONE. When I went to her house for dinner, she talked to me about joining a sorority. She had been in one when she was in high school and explained to me it was a great way to meet people and that I should go through recruitment. She also explained to me that if I went through recruitment, I was not obligated to join a house if I didn’t like it. I was a little bit weary of the idea, but researched it anyways. After I looked into everything, I decided to go through recruitment and it turned out to be one of the best decisions of my life. I meant so many people and meet people that I now consider some of my best friends. You have to know that when you become a member of a sorority, you automatically become friends with 74 other women; you may not become close with all of them but you are friends with all of them.

            Being thrown into all of these relationships within a 5 day period is a lot to take in, but you naturally become closer with certain people. A few weeks after I joined, I became friends with a girl in my house who we will call Natalie. When we first met we were definitely a I-You relationship. We would hang out a lot and talk about most things but there were obviously subjects we both avoided. I did not open up about my family situation or extremely personal things, but we would talk about things going on in our sorority or classes, what we did over the weekend and things like that. Now she is one of my best friends. We now have an I-Thou relationship. She is someone I can tell anything to and call at any time of the day if I need something and she is the same way with me. I can complain about something that is bugging me and know she will not tell anyone and she can do the same thing with me. We also do pretty much everything together. We go to the gym together, the grocery store together, the bookstore together, pretty much everywhere together. I would say that is the biggest difference in our relationship. We went from being friends that talk and hang out to friends that can talk about anything together and will be there for each other no matter what.

Thanks for reading!
-C

Linear v Interactive Communication Models

The linear model of communication explains communication as a one way interaction. This model explains that when you speak to someone there is a series of acts (message, signal, noise, received signal and destination) that together make up an interaction between active participants. This model has major flaws in that it looks at communication as a one way interaction opposed to an interaction between two or more parties, where all parties are participation in the interaction. It also explains that sending a message (speaking) and receiving a message (listening) or two separate acts. I kind of think of this like a webinar or video blog. The speaker sends a message and then later the listener receives the message and the speaker does not take into feedback or anything. Also the listener can misinterpret the message because of outside distractions that the speaker would never take into consideration.

Though the interactive was far more complete than the linear model, it still had the same flaw as the linear model in that it showed sending and receiving a message as a sequence instead of happening simultaneously. This model showed interaction as almost a circular process where the as the speaker sends a message to the receiver, the receiver interprets it and gives feedback, but it still showed this as a process and not as something that happens at the same time. This model also forgot to take into account how people interact differently with different people. You speak to someone you know very well differently than you speak to someone you work with and this model does not take these things into account. I think of this model of interaction almost like a classroom interaction. A teacher speaks to the class and the class receives the message, but the teacher is able to take in the feedback from the class. If the class looks excited they can continue on that subject, but if the class looks like they may fall asleep they can try to change things up.

The biggest difference in these two models is that the interaction model takes into account the feedback the speaker receives from the listener while the linear model does not. It is like the differences in the examples I listed above. In a video blog the speaker cannot take into account the listeners reaction where as a teacher can.

Thanks for reading :)

Hi All (I know this is late)

So, this whole blogging thing is completely new to me and I am pretty confused but trying to learn.

But in the mean time here is a little bit about my self:
I am a sophomore Communication Studies major.
I decided to go into Communications after I worked as an intern in the Public Information Office of a school district for almost a year.
I currently work and try to do internships as often as possible.
I love volunteering and being envolved in my community and school.
I also loving crafting and baking... I know I sound like a a huge girly girl but I also love sports (specifically the San Francisco Giants and Alabama football... roll tide).

I am excited to figurem this whole blogging thing out!