Sunday, October 7, 2012

Feelings and Fallacies

There are many ways that people do not communicate their feelings in an effective way. One way is by expressing their feelings in a very general way. This would be like saying you feel bad about something when you are really feeling a more specific feeling. Another way is not taking ownership for what you are truly feeling. This is basically blaming other people for what you are feeling. Instead of say that something someone did cause you to feel angry, you would say they make you feel angry. The last ineffective way to express feelings is to say things that make it sound like you are expressing emotion, but you are not actually saying how you feel. I think I am a victim of expressing my feelings in very general terms and saying things that sound like they express feeling but really do not. I am always saying I feel bad about something or I am happy about something, but I am never more specific than that. I also tend to say things like “can you please leave me alone.” I think that I could definitely fix both of these things. As far as being more specific goes, I think if I were to just make sure I am not using broad words like bad or happy I could be more specific and fix this problem. I think saying exactly what I am feeling is going to be more difficult because when I am flustered or frustrated or irritated I have a hard time expressing that.

3 comments:

  1. I absolutely get very frustrated when people blame you for their feelings. My mother always taught me that feelings are a choice and I get really peeved when people throw all their emotional throw up on you because they don't want to take ownership for them. Don't get me wrong, it's okay to be frustrated, sad, upset, and angry. Things do happen that influence us to feel those ways. However, throwing those on other people and expecting them to make it better or solve your emotional problems for you is not okay. Sorry for my little rant! I really like your post! :)

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  2. I agree with what you say about people not communicating their feelings in an effective way. Many people are very vague with their emotions and are not specific when trying to express their emotions. Like you said people say they feel sad but they don’t specify why they are feeling sad. I feel that I am one of these people who are vague with my feelings. Many times I find myself telling my husband that I am mad but I don’t specifically tell him why I am mad and express how things can be fixed. It looks like we both have the problem with being vague. I think it is a great suggestion that if we are more specific with our emotions it will help the way we communicate.

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  3. I totally agree with what you are saying. I have a problem with just pushing my emotions to the back. When I have a problem I just tend to say I’m sleepy, and take a nap to feel better. I am also very vague when it comes to expressing my emotions. Ill say I’m sad or just happy which usually doesn’t get me anywhere. I recommend you find someone you can talk to that you trust. My best friend knows me well and it is easy to express myself to her, it helps expressing yourself once in a while to someone you trust.

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