A concept that I found interesting this week
was the pressures placed on friendships. No relationship is perfect and even
the best and most healthy relationships have problems. I found it interesting
to be able to put a name to the problems that I have had with my friends in the
past. I never really thought about the fact that there would be a difference
between internal and external pressures. This obviously made sense but it was
never something I had thought about before. The three internal pressures are
relationship dialects, diverse communication styles and sexual tensions.
Problems will arise with relationship dialects when people want different
things out of one relationship. Problems can also arise when two people come
from much different backgrounds and therefore cannot always understand why
people act or think a certain way. The last internal problem is when sexual
tensions arise between the two people in the relationship. There are also external
pressures which include competing demands, personal changes and graphic
distance. Competing demands would be when one person in the relationship has
other responsibilities that take up a large amount of time and leave little to
no time for their relationship. Problems can also arise when people do things
that make some form of change in their lives. The last problem is when the two
people do not live near each other. When you are not able to see a friend on a
regular basis it is hard to maintain a relationship.
I thought this section was also interesting. I was able to identify different concepts which contribute to pressures put on friendships. I thought all the concepts were identifiable and I can see them either in my past friendships or in other people’s friendships. I think some of my past friendships failed because of external pressures. I can think of one friendship I had when I was younger which failed because she moved away. It was very hard to keep in touch with her and eventually our communication dwindled until we didn’t talk anymore. Unfortunately, I regret not being more proactive and making the time to speak with her so I could have the relationship still to this day.
ReplyDeleteHi Catherine,
ReplyDeleteI agree with your thought there are several forms of external and outside pressure among friendships. If everything were contained in a separate vacuum, people would have much stronger friendships and ties. I think the chapter does a great job of pointing out the three reasons that relationships can feel stress or frustration. Obviously, if there are things that the individual parties are seeking in the relationship, it will be tough for people to bypass the relationship dialects, leading to fights and anger. As the chapter notes, backgrounds can influence the way people relate and communicate with other each, leading to issues that arise in the future, such as miscommunications and lack of understanding in each episode. Lastly, sexual tension is an issue that all cross gender relationships encounter, often leading to jealousy and anger, which sometimes parties do not acknowledge or push into the background.